Friday, August 26, 2011

...I Knew How to Make Potato Soup

If you could relive any time in your life, what would it be?
For me it would be my high school years. For those reading who have been through high school, you're probably going, "Hell no! I wouldn't go back there if someone paid me!"
I would, though. Even without the money. Things were simpler then and I knew where I stood in the world. It was the moment right before I dipped my toes into the deep end of the pool, the place that should be  reserved for people over twenty. I saw my friends every day and my classes were way easier! At the time I lived with my mom. She did the grocery shopping, cooked most of the time, and was there for those difficult days. I just wish I had appreciated that time in my life a little more.
 Sure, it kinda stinks. You’re stuck between being a kid and an adult. You have so many boundaries, so many rules. You feel insecure, wondering what everyone is thinking of you. All you want to do is get OUT and DO something.
Then, college comes. And you know what?
You have to grow up.
Suddenly you’re the one doing your own grocery shopping, cooking your own meals (or at least trying to), and you’re learning to survive on your own. And, at some point you’ll have to deal with being homesick. Maybe that’s not the right word, though. Maybe nostalgia is a better word. People may say they don’t feel that way (especially about high school), but at some point when they’re tired and/or lonely they’ll wish they could be a kid again.
The first night in my apartment (roommate-less) I was hit with that wish to go back. I wanted to be at my dad’s (where I had lived during my sophomore year). I even missed my annoying half-sister, S.
And I knew why I felt that way: I was scared of growing up. At that moment I knew I couldn’t go backwards. I had to deal! And that’s horrifying. Now when I go back to my mom’s or dad’s I’m a guest. Sure, I’m still their daughter, but our lives have gone separate ways. I have to learn not to need them anymore. The security blanket has to be taken away. It wasn’t like in high school where I was old enough to have some freedom, but young enough to have my mom around constantly.
I had to be an adult.
Growing up isn’t so bad, though. It’s a time when you learn your strengths and weaknesses. It’s a time when you get to be YOU. You’ll learn who you are, you’ll fall in love, you’ll get hurt, but you’ll be independent. Just, for those who are eager to grow up too soon remember this: You have very little time to be an actual kid, but you have so much time later to be an adult. Enjoy being young! Don’t rush it!
Not to say you can’t act like a kid even when you’re older. Trust me, I do all the time (my sister regularly tells me that I act twelve). It’s just there’s a certain naivety that is lost when you pass into adulthood. So, enjoy being irresponsible and na├»ve. Because eventually (for most at least) those things go away, and for some quicker than it should.

So, what would time in your life would you relive? And, why?
"Never Grow Up" by Taylor seemed kinda appropriate.

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